Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Why people vote Democrat (Besides the obvious reason: they're stupid)

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a much better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they'll now know we're good people.

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my butt that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."

"The problem with Socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."

3 comments:

  1. This is probably my favorite reason:
    "I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius."

    LMAO HILARIOUS...yet so true!

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  2. I voted Republican because I believe I can find Weapons of Mass Destruction in a country ruled by a person I don't personally like.

    I voted Republican because I believe the only way to rebuild a country is to award no-bid contracts to companies controlled by my friends.

    I voted Republican because I thought Brownie was doing a good job during Hurricane Katrina.

    I voted Republican because I choose a candidate based on his religious beliefs, not the fact that someone else in my party actually has experience in turning around sick companies.

    I voted Republican because I am so humble.

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  3. Or he was told WMDs were there by every intelligence service in the world, including Saddam's generals themselves, and he of course USED BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS ON THE KURDS, so therefore he did have them.

    Halliburton received more no-bid contracts under Clinton than Bush, you can look it up.

    FEMA isn't designed to save people, but to rebuild, you should be blaming Ray Nagin for not helping those people, and the media for reporting lies.

    So is choosing someone based on their religious beliefs better or worse than choosing someone because of his race and that he can read a teleprompter effectively?

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